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My mother has been diagnosed with Advanced Alzheimer's which seems to have a hereditary pre-disposition, 2 of her 3 sisters have also been diagnosed.
Everyday l watch her regressing from us, her family and so l write :
WHY DO I CRY, I CRY BECAUSE :
- I see my mothers mind regressing, she forgets things and people, loses things, hides things, repeats herself, gets frustrated and angry, dresses inappropriately, doesn’t seem to listen.
- her deterioration is happening so quickly.
- of her increasing dependence and obsessive attachment to my father.
- of my own frustration, anger and lack of patients with her which then leads to feelings of guilt and self recrimination.
- I feel powerless to do anything much to change its inevitable course.
- I am a nurse and l should be able to deal with all this appropriately and sympathetically but this is MY MOTHER.
- its not fair to her or us her family.
- what of her future, when do we make the decision to place her in care.
- surely modern medicine should by now have sound a cure.
- one day she will not know who l am.
- l am wretchedly sad.
- l feel helpless.
- I HAVE TO.