LGBT+ people and dementia

Dementia Australia has partnered with ACON, a nationally recognised LGBTQ+ health organisation, with support from the Victorian government, to create this page: a collection of links, resources, information and support dedicated to members of the community impacted by dementia.

Dementia describes a collection of symptoms caused by disorders affecting the brain. It’s not a normal part of getting older, and it’s not one specific disease. Instead, it’s a broad term that covers the effects of a number of different medical conditions, including Alzheimer’s disease.

Dementia can affect anyone at any age. If you’re part of the LGBT+ community, this website and all Dementia Australia’s services are for you.

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LGBT+ and dementia: planning ahead

Our lives move quickly, and no one wants to think the worst could happen. That’s why it’s important to plan for the future. Planning for challenges at different stages of our life makes it easier for us, our partners, families of choice, friends and carers. Here are some advanced planning resources in Victoria and Australia.

Planning resources

• Advanced Care Planning: gives you the opportunity to plan your future health care and medical treatment while you're healthy and can make decisions yourself. There is more information at Advanced Care Planning Australia.
• Advanced Care Directive: an Advanced Care Directive records your preferences about your healthcare and treatment in case you are seriously ill or injured and not able to make decisions. 
• Power of Attorney - a legal document that gives a person or trustee organisation the legal authority to act for you to manage your assets and make financial and legal decisions on your behalf while you are still alive. This person should understand and respect your identity, recognise your partner and chosen family, advocate for your needs and wishes and align with your values.
• Will: a legal document with instructions for who you want to inherit your estate, care for your children, and be the Executor of your estate when you die. It details:
  • who you want to receive your assets, including digital assets
  • who you want to receive specific personal and heirloom items (sometimes called chattels in legal documents). Pets are included in this category
  • any religious, spiritual or cultural arrangements for your funeral
  • who you choose to be your Executor (the person who makes sure the instructions in your Will are followed).

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LGBT+ community stories

Hearing from other LGBT+ people living with dementia, and those who care for them, can help you feel less alone and more connected. These stories share real experiences, insights and hope from our communities.

Stories can be powerful: they remind us that while dementia brings challenges, LGBT+ people continue to live meaningful lives, maintain important relationships, and stay connected to what matters most.

Watch and listen to LGBT+ community members share their dementia journeys in their own words.

We are currently gathering stories from LGBT+ people and their loved ones. If you'd like to share your Dementia experience, please contact us.

Dale and Lillian

‘My name is Dale and I was born in 1943. My partner Lilian was born in 1937. We were together for 20 years. The most impressive thing about Lilian was her brain. She had a first-class honours degree and her thesis had been on aged care. She was a great advocate of leaving people in their homes and supporting them…

‘I went to a carer support group and it was fantastic, great stuff. There might have been some people biting on their tongues about the fact I was a lesbian, I don't know, but it didn't bother me because I didn't notice it. But nobody left the room. I think there's enough out there in public about same sex couples that I think you'd have to go a long way to find somebody who'd react.

‘I was the only one in our carers support group who was still caring at home and I'm the only one in the group who cared at home until death. For me it was the better choice from the point of my conscience and being true to her, but also in terms of convenience because otherwise I would be worrying, having sleepless nights. And I have to live with myself afterwards, so I had to have a good conscience about it.

‘So that’s why it happened. There might have been a time when it became impossible but it didn’t, Lilian died before it was impossible. It got very close though.’

Greg and Kevin

Greg: ‘In 2006 we were first diagnosed. It's been frustrating. I get halfway through the conversation if it is interesting and I lose the focus on it.’

‘You don’t stop being gay if you get dementia. Naturally you are still gay. Saying I would become straight is being stupid, because for a person being gay is part of your life, a part of your make-up. No, we can't make being gay disappear, it's there in front of you.’

Kevin: ‘Greg and I have been together for nearly 40 years. I'm 75. We have never been the type to flaunt our sexuality. If anybody asks, yes, they're told. The people looking after us have never questioned or asked flat out are we gay.’

‘We have quite a few lesbian neighbours, we look after them, they look after us when it comes to going away. I think it's important to mix with gay people because, you can freely speak I suppose. Like me saying we don't flaunt our sexuality with the community but when you're mixing with your own type, if you like, you speak freer.

‘Yesterday morning was a club meeting and talking to 100-odd people, and Greg put his hand up to ask a question. I've suddenly realised he's going to come out with something that could be taken the wrong way and I intervened. I actually had to explain to the speaker that Greg is my partner and a couple of the guys said to me later, “Hey, what's this mean about being your partner?”’

Greg: ‘I never flaunt myself. No, never have. I've always been reserved. I’m 77.’

Kevin: ‘A cleaner comes into the house two hours every fortnight and vacuums, irons, cleans the showers and all that. That's what we're getting at the moment. It's normally the same lady that comes every time but there's the odd times when I've had to cancel and try and get another day.

‘It's obvious to whoever comes to work through the house that Greg and I are sleeping in the same bed and all that. No questions asked, no problem, they joke with us, good with us, no problem at all.

‘It was interesting, our case manager we've had for quite a while - I took it for granted that she's put two and two together. Months ago, something came up, and I said, “you're obviously aware that Greg and I are gay,” and she said then, “No, I wasn’t.” She said to me, “Well, when I first met you two it never entered my head that you might be gay.” She was fine with it. She's also got somebody else that’s gay I think, and I also know our home help lady has had to actually do cleaning for friends of ours who are gay.

‘I suppose one thing service providers need to know is treat LGBT people with dementia as humans. Service providers shouldn't show any discrimination against gay people with dementia.’

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For health professionals

Health professionals, aged care workers, support coordinators and service providers play a vital role in ensuring LGBT+ people living with dementia receive affirming, quality care. This section provides training, resources and guidance to support inclusive practice.

Whether you're new to working with LGBT+ communities or looking to deepen your knowledge, these resources can help you provide care that respects identity, recognises relationships and upholds dignity. Inclusive dementia care is ethical, evidence-based, person-centred, and transformative

Key principles for inclusive practice

• Use correct names, pronouns and terms for relationships.
• Recognise chosen family alongside biological family.
• Don't make assumptions about identity, relationships or history.
• Create environments where people feel safe to be themselves and display visible signs of safety (e.g., the Pride Progress flag, culturally inclusive posters).
• Understand that some older LGBT+ people have experienced significant discrimination.
• Respect decisions about disclosure and privacy.
• Include partners and chosen family in care planning and decision-making.

What inclusive care requires

• Recognising and affirming identity every day, not only at intake.
• Creating policies and environments that reflect real-world diversity.
• Equipping all staff with the knowledge and tools to deliver respectful, identity-aware care.
• Embedding inclusion into documentation, training, leadership, and everyday interactions.

Professional development and training

• Rainbow Health Australia: a program that supports LGBTIQ health and wellbeing through research and knowledge translation, training, resources, policy advice and service accreditation through the Rainbow Tick.
• ACON Pride Training: providing specialised LGBTQ+ awareness and inclusivity training.
• Catalyst Foundation LGBTIQA+ Training: workshops for health and community workers supporting LGBTIQA+ people and communities.

Practice resources

• Supporting an LGBTQ+ person with dementia: Alzheimer's Society UK’s practical guidance on providing affirming dementia care.
• Supporting coming out for LGBT people living with dementia: Dementia Support Australia’s help sheet containing information for care staff about the process of coming out and  how to support an LGBT person living with dementia.
• Supporting LGBT+ older adults living with dementia: a scoping review summary of needs, service access and current practices to support LGBT+ older adults living with cognitive impairment and dementia.
• Inclusive communication with LGBT+ clients: the Australian Institute of Family Studies’ guidance on respectful, affirming communication.
• LGBTI People and Dementia: LGBTIQ+ Australia’s factsheet for aged care workers to provide guidance on how to support LGBTI people living with dementia in aged care.
• LGBTI and Dementia – Understanding Changes in Behaviour: Dementia Support Australia’s booklet for aged care staff caring for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex (LGBTI) people.
• Actions to support Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Gender Diverse and Intersex elders: A guide for aged care providers

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Dementia Australia and ACON acknowledge and thank the Victorian government for supporting the funding of this page.