Asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness
Amanda was in her final year of school when she first noticed something was different about her mum Petronella.
At first, it was small things – a kettle left whistling, a forgotten errand. Then came the doctors and a long trail of wrong answers: perimenopause, bipolar, psychosis.
Through it all, Amanda told nobody.
In the Community Support: Building powerful social connections episode of the Hold the Moment podcast, Amanda shares how isolating the experience was for her and her mother.
“In our culture, like most ethnic cultures, you don't talk about what happens in the house,” she says.
“Things that could potentially bring shame… you did not speak about.”
Amanda and her mum stopped having friends over or asking for help.
They carried it alone through Amanda’s senior schooling, into adulthood and across more than a decade of caring before Petronella’s condition was finally diagnosed as Lewy body dementia.
Strength in asking for help
“There is no shame in what we're going through,” Amanda says now.
“Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it’s strength. You do it because you love the person and because you love yourself too.”
For Amanda, the turning point came through community – the Dementia Australia Dementia Advocates program, a WhatsApp group and lunches with fellow advocates who understood.
“You can make a difference”
Like Amanda, Dr David Williams AM has come to value community just as much, although from a different starting point.
Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease at 74, David has always been a fan of doing things differently.
“I was thinking: Well I’ve got this thing called Alzheimer’s. What can we do differently about that?” he says.
He focused on the impact he could make.
“What can we do to assist people to create change? If I’ve got it, I’d like to do something with it.”
One way David gives back is at his local rock pool at 4.30am.
Each morning he swims then photographs the sunrise.
“If I meet someone with a young child, I’ll ask when they were born,” he says. “I might have a photo of that sunrise and say: Would you like it?’ This is the sunrise of the first day of your life.”
When asked how to foster connection, David’s answer is simple: “Get involved. Let people know that you have Alzheimer’s and work with it.
“You can make a contribution. You can make a difference.”
Listen to their stories
Amanda and David share their stories in Community Support: Building powerful social connections, an episode of Hold the Moment, Dementia Australia's podcast.
You can listen to Hold the Moment in your favourite podcast app or on the Dementia Australia website.
Looking for support?
If you would like support or advice about living with dementia, contact the National Dementia Helpline on 1800 100 500 or via live chat, available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.
The Dementia Australia Library provides free access to resources about dementia for everyone, including people living with dementia and those involved in their care.
You can find out more about the Dementia Australia Dementia Advocates program on our website.
