“I was burnt out and needed more help”
Caring for someone living with dementia can be deeply rewarding, however there can also be challenges as both Angela and Vicki have experienced.
Vicki spoke about caring for her husband Michael, who lives with dementia, in the 'Carer fatigue' episode of Dementia Australia’s podcast Hold the Moment.
Despite having practical strategies in place, Vicki found the toll of caring for Michael resulted in stress, as well as ongoing physical pain.
She talked about the importance of carving out time for yourself as a carer which was often a difficult thing to do.
“It’s important to look at who you've got in your network, calling in help when you need it, taking some time for yourself and finding those things that you really enjoy,” Vicki said.
One of the ways she did that was to implement what she calls her ‘radical self-care plan’ that included yoga, fitness classes, swimming and meditation.
“Try and find the enjoyment – the things that you like to do,” Vicki said.
“I needed more help”
Like Vicki, Angela reached a point where caring for everyone else was taking a significant toll on her.
When her father Agatino was diagnosed with vascular dementia she was already helping to care for her mother Maria, who was living with dementia, as well as juggling full-time work and raising two children.
“I got to the point where I was burnt out and needed more help,” Angela said.
While her sister and brother knew she was doing a lot for their parents, it wasn’t until Angela listed it all out that they realised the extent of her responsibilities.
“I was basically managing everything to do with Mum and Dad – medical appointments, optometrist, social activities, bills – everything,” Angela said.
“I was exhausted all the time, I wasn’t able to sleep properly, and I couldn’t focus on anything. I wasn’t able to prioritise myself so I was starting to have some health impacts.”
Eventually, the family made the difficult decision to move Maria into respite, and later, residential aged care.
“It wasn't the decision we wanted to make but we could see that Mum was really not safe at home,” Angela said.
How to support carers
Often people don’t know how to support a person living with dementia and their immediate carers. For advice and information please visit the Dementia Australia website for our list of practical tips.
Support for carers
If you are caring for someone living with dementia visit the family, friends and carers page on our website for more information, support and resources.
You can also contact the National Dementia Helpline on 1800 100 500 or visit our website for live chat and email support.
You can listen to Vicki’s story on the 'Carer fatigue' episode of Hold the Moment on Dementia Australia's website or wherever you get your podcasts.
